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My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years. We had our first child 5 years into the marriage with the second child coming 3 years later. I won’t go into too much detail, but neither were very easy deliveries and it kind of slowed our decision to have baby number 3. We never took the discussion off the table though and about 2 years ago we started talking very seriously about it. I mean, I was in my mid 30s, I wasn’t getting any younger and if we were going to have a baby, it was now or never. So…after the world’s longest “should we have another baby” discussion, we got pregnant! I was 36 years old and so excited! I was a very active 36 year old and I felt young so no worries, right?
Well, the pregnancy itself was relatively smooth other than I puked for 5 months straight and I couldn’t stay awake at all, but baby and I were healthy! There was one pretty strong negative though and that was some of the things that I heard over and over.
I feel obligated to share with you what that was in case you are trying to decide if you want to get pregnant in your later 30s:
- You are an “older mom.” Really? Why can’t we just be Moms?
- You are of “Advanced Maternal Age.” For real. I heard this at every single doctor’s appointment.
- “What were you thinking?” You wouldn’t believe how many people have asked us this.
- “You are older now, you know what causes this” Yep, I literally had several people say this to me during my pregnancy.
- “Aren’t you afraid someone will think you are the grandma?” hahahaha well, now I am.
- Because of your “special pregnancy circumstances” you have to have lots of extra tests.
- “It’s so risky though.” Even though this myth has been debunked, we heard it over and over again.
- “Did you wait this long because you now have built in babysitters?” WTF?! Seriously?
- “Was it hard for you to conceive at this age?” Well, that’s not really your business, but nope. I was pregnant within a month of starting to try.
- “Are you going to have the energy to chase after the baby?” Okay, honestly I am still pretty tired, but I do just fine, thanks for checking. 🙂
Are you an over 35 mom? What kind of things have you dealt with?